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Cruising

blebelblablebleble

Body Image

I finally received photos from a pregnancy photo shoot I did 3 weeks before Omar was born. It is so surreal to look back. The reason I really wanted to do this photo shoot is because I had a hard time accepting my pregnant body - it's hard to undo a lifetime of subliminal messaging about how a female form is supposed to look in a matter of months - and that bothered me. I remembered talking with Mom about how kids in her class got such a confidence boost when Tina took their picture. I thought that having this pregnant physique documented by a professional photographer would on some level help me to accept this body for the way it was. Even though I didn't get the pictures back until now, it really did help just to go through the process. I think photography should be part of therapy.

Seeing these photos now makes me also realize how much the experience of being pregnant, giving birth, breastfeeding...blooming...has dramatically changed the way I feel about how my body relates to my self. Seeing how different my 'shell' looked during these various phases over the course of just over a year makes me realize how NOT my body I am. I accept how I was pregnant and how I am now and I basically just hover above myself so objectively without judging or hating any part of myself anymore. This is yet another one of the benefits of being born into motherhood, I think.

Can you believe Omar is in there??

Thank you, Tina!

All of these are among my favorite Omar 'looks'~

thank you so much for capturing them, Tina!!

Christmas Eve

We were so sick... I think we were both ready to pass out when Tina took this hilarious picture (I love it).

I don't know how to do things better when you live far away. Maybe we should just assume we're going to get sick from the plane ride and go out a few days earlier? I am so ashamed of how overwhelmed and complainy I was, but I was unprepared for how much work it is when you get the little guy out of his routine. Or maybe I was prepared for that, but not prepared to take this on while having such a bad cold? Or maybe I could have handled all that, but couldn't put up with the weirdo from Art's parents church, losing my wallet on the plane, people worrying about Omar being too cold when it's 50  degrees outside, etc. etc. I think it was worth it once Omar got better and was able to play with his cousins.  Still, I think Art put it best when he said that he was 'so relieved to be home, even if it is Boston.'